CONVERSATIONS WITH KAMAEL I

I'm drunk...
I'm lost...
I want to die...
I love her very much...
Fuck! Why?! Why me?!
Amidst my drunken stupor and seemingly suicidal depression... I saw a figure... A sexy figure of an angel... Angel? But I soon noticed she only have one wing...
"Who the fuck are you?!" "Where am I?!" I noticed that I am sitting in darkness with the being looking at me curiously...
She answered me with a sweet melodious voice... "You are at the void, Mr. Borja... As to who I am, call me Kamael..."
"Void?!" "Kamael?!" "You are nothing but a product of my sick mind! Are you the angel of death?! How beautiful?! I'm dead?! How splendid!"
"I am not an angel of death... There is no need for you to know who I am..." As she comes nearer and nearer. She is beatiful... Magical... Like a cross breed of a fairy and a vampire...
I heard your anguish my dear Mr. Borja... Your anguish is like the symphony of the night... Like the howling of a thousand wolves worshipping the full moon... I think you need someone to talk to... Your depression brought you here at the Void and me...
Shut up will you? You don't know me?! Don't act as if you can help me! YOU DON'T KNOW A SINGLE THING ABOUT ME!
That is where you are wrong my dear... I know a lot abot you... The real you... From the beginning... The you that even you does'nt know... The real you...
Please leave me... I am mourning... I want to be left alone with my depression... Can you drink Matador? Want some? As she sit beside me... I can feel her presence... Her aura something different but calm... There is no malicious intent whatsocer...
Do you want to know who you are? Who you were?
Will you go away and leave me alone if I will let you? She has a sword... Astig!
Ok Mr. Borja... All want is for you to listen... And concentrate on what I am telling you... My confessions might help you survive your present life time...
You have my word for it...

At first you were a part of the earth...
Doesn't all of us? Your joking... I might be drunk but I am not stupid! Shot?!
Listen Mr. Borja... Others started not as earth... Others started as water, fire, air or metal... You on the other hand started as earth...
Can I now continue? With a smirk and a sigh she did continue... That happened 4.6 billion years ago... You are already a part of this planet... Of this reality billions of years ago...
Then after 3.2 billion of years ago you became a diamond... Don't you see Mr. Borja... Even from the start your life was full of struggle and lowliness... After billions of years you as an earth became a diamond... Don't you see it Mr. Borja! If the earth which was you stopped dreaming will it become a diamond... Persistence Mr. Borja! Even from the start you are persistent!
When the single celled animals evolved to different kinds of animals like dinosaurs... You asked the creator if you can be one of them... The Creator obliged and made you a Triceratops 26 million years ago... If you remember when you are yet a young boy you are very fond of the dinosaur Triceratops... A lot of kids want the T-rex but not you! You want the Triceratops! You are defensive in nature like the Tops... And like the Tops you are very dangerous if you run berserk...